When did I stop thinking?
Perhaps it was when I felt enclosed in a new space, trapped by all the people and pressured by the idealized standards surrounding me.
When did I lower my standards?
Perhaps it was a combination of an atmosphere of apathy and a post-modernistic approach that has slowly convinced me that I don't have to try as hard as long, as I'm satisfied by the results.
When did I convince myself that it's okay to repress my feelings?
Perhaps it was because I wanted to be a mature one, the one who wasn't suffering, didn't have issues, and could help everyone else.
Why do these questions plague me now?
Perhaps the issue is that I am losing touch with myself; I no longer feel like a whole person but a shell driven by emotions and goals which are not connected to my inner essence.
Why is giving myself space the only thing that helps?
Perhaps the lack of constraint allows me the comfort of no other presence around that will judge me or expect something of me or that I even need to communicate with in some form or fashion.
Why am I suddenly so self-centered?
Perhaps the purpose of self-reflection is this: to direct oneself back to a central point of balance.
Where are the words with which to describe myself?
Perhaps they have been lost in the disconnect between me and myself.
Where are the feelings that will put me in touch with myself again?
Perhaps they have no outlet by which to be expressed; perhaps there is no one that I trust to hear them who will understand and give wise advice for how to deal with them.
What is my reason for not trusting anyone with myself?
Perhaps I am afraid of being hurt, but by not trusting anyone I guess I have already hurt myself, though I also feel that I trust too easily at times.
What happened to logic?
Perhaps I left it behind along with my heart, and I don't know where either of them went.
What prompted all of this introspection?
Perhaps it was the picking apart of the fundamental concepts of society that we did in Intercultural Knowledge and Competence, which is exactly what Dr. Davis wanted us to do.
What is the purpose for reflexivity?
Perhaps it helps us to more clearly understand us as individuals and, in turn, how we relate to each other, essentially picking apart the way human beings interact and what it means to be an individual human being.
